Tag Archives: Tisch

47. Competitive Complaining

My life is way harder. This I promise you.

Every Jumbo’s got that one friend who never wants to go out on the weekends because they have a test on Monday. You generally like this friend, but griping is just not a great way to pregame pregaming and you don’t usually see them much outside of class or Tisch.

To catch a glimpse of the Perpetually Stressed Friend, just look around campus the second week of December or the first week of May. Or better yet, look in the mirror. Around finals week, we all become this friend. Yes, the one that flakes out on friends to reread Bio 13 notes. Yes, the rando classmate that asks you for all the notes you took on Comparative Politics last year.

You may be thinking to yourself, “No! It can’t be! I’m not that douche bag!” False. We all get stressed at least twice throughout the school year. Here is one way to realize you’ve made the transition from Normal You to Finals You: competitive complaining. People like to hate on Tufts sports, but competitive complaining is an activity every Jumbo’s good at. Some people participate more than others, but its presence on campus grows exponentially during midterms and finals. It sounds a little something like this:

“This is weekend is going to be absolute hell. I have an econ problem set and two papers to write.”

–“Ugh, I know. I have three research papers and it’s gonna take hours to finish all the programming I have to do.”

“Whatever, at least your thesis isn’t due in like, three days.”

–“Oh yeah? Well four of my professors decided to schedule their finals five days in advance. Plus I have eight theses underway, I have to translate three Chinese novels into Swahili, and I’m performing in the Mongolian Culture Show for peace in the Middle East. Step off.”

This exchange is quite popular in the Tisch Conversation Area, Eaton, Dewick, and Carmichael, all places where stressed out Jumbos go to “relax” with other stressed Jumbos. Even though we may not want to admit it, competitive complaining is part of Tufts life. Let’s be real. Even if we had a stress free weekend with perfect weather and zero percent chance of finals, we’d still find something to complain about (i.e. “WTF The Roots? I don’t pay 53 grand a year  to watch Jimmy Fallon’s house band.“).

This post was suggested by Katie Boland (’11). Make your own suggestion by emailing stufftuftspeoplelike@gmail.com or tweeting at @tuftslikesthis

36. Bathroom stall philosophy

Mayer Campus Center, girls bathroom, third stall

Tufts people have wonderfully profound thoughts. Thoughts about academics, race, sexuality, aliens… The list goes on. These thoughts are so great that they must be shared. And what better way to share great thoughts than to do it anonymously (see #10. College ACB)? Enter: the bathroom stall.

Once the Berlin Wall dividing one toilet from another, bathroom stalls around campus now serve as a testament to shared suffering and perseverance. Next time you’re in the campus center taking a piss, take note of the friendly reminder above the toilet paper dispenser, “You can do this!” Or anytime you’re concerned that your genitalia is below average, take note of the artistic impressions Tufts people have left in the Tisch bathrooms. If you ever feel morally bound to voice your feelings about the college hookup culture and are too lazy to attend a Tufts Christian Fellowship meeting or pen a College ACB post, there’s the tally in a campus center stall that keeps track of the “Yays and Nays” towards Tufts’ hookup culture.

As any Jumbo can see, the outlets for anonymous expression are quite numerous on this campus. Want to contribute to the cache of knowledge etched along Tufts’ bathroom stalls? Stick to these rules: keep it simple, keep it classy. And when in doubt, refer to the example below.

“Here I am, brokenhearted
Trying to poop
But only farted”

-Campus center, Men’s bathroom

13. Mojo

I look studious, but I just downloaded ICP's entire discography in under 5 minutes. Booyah!

Think you have unique taste in music? Think again. Everybody’s got your bootlegged soundtrack to The Princess Diaries, thanks to a steal-sesh in Tisch.

2. The Reading Room

Hirsh Reading Room

There’s a particular atmosphere in the Tisch Library Hirsh Reading Room. It’s a calm pressure that lowers from the ceiling onto its inhabitants. Jumbos feed off of it… so much so that at 12:55AM, the line into the room rivals the line outside 123 on a Saturday night. You can always spot the Reading Room virgins from a mile away. They always try to get into the room by attempting to wrench open the front doors that are locked at 12:45. Imbeciles.