Tag Archives: Medford

43. Using Houses as Department Buildings

Bolles House

Freshmen, complain all you want about the monstrous hill you have to climb every day to class but just admit it: our campus is tiny. Everything is basically within a fifteen minute walk. Though this keeps our pre-arthritic knees happy and healthy, there are some trade-offs. Our small campus means that our department buildings are closer to each other; but this also means that some of our meetings with our academics occur in neighborhood houses converted into university space.

It’s a little odd that some of Tufts’ department buildings blend a little too easily into the Medford/Somerville neighborhood. But aren’t these houses actually kind of cozy? There’s something oddly comforting about arriving at the Alumni House to inquire about Ex College classes and realizing you have to walk up a driveway and sidle past what looks like your grandmother’s front doorway. The same goes for meeting a mentor at the Fine Arts house or any other university-related building like the Counseling & Mental Health center or the LGBT house. These academic buildings might have odd remnants of domesticity within (bathtubs in the bathrooms, etc), but homesick Jumbos craving the quaintness of American suburbia can get their dose just walking around Mr. Larry’s Neighborhood. Home sweet home.


37. Off-Campus Housing

This ol' house...

After two years of meal plans, RAs, and “quiet hours,” many Tufts people like to venture to the blissful dreamland known to its inhabitants as Off-Campus Housing. This magical place has been heard of in tales passed down from generation to generation. Legends of “The Greatest Party Ever,” and “The Most Awesome Sex I Had While My Roommate Was Still Present” have taken place in this beautiful land.

Although many Jumbos have only dreamed of Off-Campus Housing, it doesn’t mean reaching it is impossible. But be forewarned! The journey to Off-Campus Housing is fraught with peril. Only those brave enough to endure the hardships have attempted it and even fewer have succeeded. If you believe you’re courageous enough, be prepared to meet the following trials en route to glorious Off-Campus Housing:

1. Squirrelly half friends who you only half like but need in order to fill up your house
2. Oil heating
3. Crazy Landlady from Hell
4. Crazy Landfamily Who Lives In The Basement
5. Squirrelly half friends who you only half like because they assume they are living with you when they are not.
6. Lease deadlines
7. Safety deposits
8. Coercing everyone and their mother to sublet from you during winter break
9. Rodents
10. Listening to other Tufts people celebrate when they’ve finally signed their own lease

Once you have endured all these hardships, rejoice! You are one of the few and proud citizens of Off-Campus Party City. Meal plans? Ha! Cooking for yourself is so much resourceful anyway. Turn up that Ke$ha song at 3AM; your housemates certainly won’t care, right? And screw hall snacks; real housemates bond over post-party cleanup sessions.

Might we even suggest… hall sports?

34. Dave’s Fresh Pasta

OM NOM NOM is really Italian for "Prosciutto and Fig"

Looking for an easy, $8 dollar orgasm? Bad news, all the tickets for the midnight showing of Harry Potter were sold out. Good news? Dave’s Fresh Pasta is open ’till 7:30 on weekdays.

Tufts people love sustainable food production and apparently, Dave’s also a big fan. From weird, organic beer to crazy expensive bacon chocolate, Dave’s Fresh Pasta has Jumbos drooling the minute they hit Davis Square

Make sure you check the pasta bar for delectable samples and the dairy displays for the cute, organic food-loving soccer moms of Somerville.

32. Making plans to visit Boston

It's just so far away

Despite the fact that Tufts is a measly five miles northwest of Beantown, Jumbos rarely leave campus to venture into the city. Is it because we have everything we need in our quaint college town?

Outside sorority girls shopping at Newbury Street for formal wear and Asians running out to Costco for ramen, Jumbos usually stick to the Medford-Somerville campus like prefrosh to their tour guide. In fact, the average Tufts person goes into Boston of their own accord (for personal enjoyment, not for class, internships, or work), only a couple times a semester (read: less than five times)*. In attempts to make themselves feel better about this paltry statistic, Jumbos will complain that they don’t go to Boston enough. If and when they see other Jumbos heading downtown, they will exclaim, “Ugh, I should really go into the city more.” They will promise to make city-themed plans. Then, they will walk to Carmichael and order a bowl of do-it-yourself stir-fry.

Boston is a great city. If you need further convincing, please direct yourself to YouTube and search “jack’s opening.” So why is it that Jumbos rarely go into the city? Probably out of fear that someone will stab them to death in Chinatown. I mean, have you read the safety rankings?!

*Based on extremely accurate data that is way too substantial to be posted online.