31. Double Majoring

And, like, maybe a dual degree with SMFA. But that might clash with my schedule.

To many of us, college life is all about having fun before the end goal: entering the real world. Secretly, though, college is also about one-upping your way to the top. From the first day of freshman orientation, Jumbos are asking other Jumbos about their plans for the next four years. It goes a little something like this, “What’syournamewhereareyourfromwhat’syourmajor”. Sound familiar? No one’s ever a big fan of this question, so the best way to shut someone up mid-probe is to announce that you’ve already declared your double major in International Relations and Economics and scatter. If you really want to avoid the empty chatter about your academic future, throw in another major as a triple threat. The more the merrier. Languages are good, but it’s important to pick a specialized one like Chinese or Arabic so other Jumbos can marvel at your scholastic prowess.

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