No, this ain’t the Bed Intruder. This is the dick roaming Tisch, preying after laptops left unattended for a quickie in the stacks. This is the sneak who broke into your house during that party last week, snatching all the stuff you left in your unlocked room. He’s the creep who smashed your car windows and yanked your dad’s GPS from the dashboard. He’s the bastard that ganked a townie’s seashell collection.
Or maybe he’s a she. Plot twist!